Repeating relational patterns? 03-06-2019
By: Katherine Langa
A common question asked by people who have had toxic relationships is: How could that have happened to me? The discourse that follows is also common, they consider themselves intelligent, they succeed in other areas of their lives, they believe they deserve something better, they were well before this, and so on. And they do not know that any of these things have to do with the choice they make as a couple; it is our unconscious that makes that decision for us.
We will repeat patterns of the relationships we met as children, the one we had with our parents and how they related to each other. That is why it is so important to work on our life story, the primary wounds, the emotional marks we have, in order to heal and create new patterns of healthy behaviors and thought structures.
Maybe you think that doesn't apply to you that personal job because you've never been in a toxic relationship, or it's only happened to you once. The way you relate to others, whether it's a partner, family or at work, is a reflection of how you relate to yourself, and it has a lot of information to give you about yourself. Toxic relationships aren't just for couples, and if it happened to you once, something was going on inside of you.
There is no magic rule for not repeating toxic patterns, there are no shortcuts if we want the change to last over time. The solution lies in generating change from within. Can you relate? I invite you to talk in therapy and to share this post so that together we can continue to create awareness.
To start this therapeutic process, contact us here.
