Emotional regulation. How to work it? 14-12-2020
By: Mr. Carolina Peña Jiménez. Bachelor's degree in Clinical Psychology,
Sometimes responding, understanding and exploring our emotions becomes a challenge, as these can lead us to act and perceive the world in a way that is not always functional. There are times when emotions feel very big, as if they have more strength than us, or as if it is impossible to manage them, however, the truth is that we do not control them, nor do we manage them, we regulate ourselves.
How can we do that?
Explora
Explore
Look for where that emotion comes from, at what point it is activated and from when you began to feel that way to then find the trigger. The trigger is the event and/or situation that activates the emotion, so knowing them will bring you closer to the original wound.
Validate it
Every emotion is valid, regardless of whether it makes sense to us or not. If you visit us it is because you are responding to a stimulus, and the only way to release it is by allowing it to manifest assertively. Identifying where in our body it is presented, naming it, is usually a very useful resource when it is difficult to identify emotions.
Identify the wound
Sometimes others touch wounds already experienced, and although the emotion is manifested today, it may be reflecting an experience already lived, but that has not yet been fully processed on an emotional level. Giving place and context to each experience and emotion helps us understand and feel in harmony with what we feel.
Externalize the emotion
Look for ways to externalize what you have inside, this can be through art, as well as venting and discussing it with a loved one with whom you feel understood and validated.
Emotions usually send us a message. However, the message may be about what is really going on, or it may be proper to what we are perceiving of the situation. What do I mean by this? Because emotions do not always reflect a reality. The fact that you feel betrayed is not always an indicator that the other has carried out a betrayal, that you feel abandoned does not always mean that the other has abandoned you. Sometimes people touch wounds of another origin unconsciously, and emotions feel just as they do, since our brain can get confused and interpret things as if they were happening in the moment.
Identify them, allow them to be and let them go.