Cultural beliefs that stigmatize women 03-08-2020
By: Katherine Langa
We all have a belief system, a set of thoughts, both conscious and unconscious, that drives our self-image and behavior.
If your belief system sends you harmful messages about you and the world, life can become a constant struggle.
Kelly McDaniel says in her book Ready to Heal that there are four cultural beliefs that create a sense of shame in women:
- Cultural Belief One: I must be “good” to be worthy of love
- Cultural Belief Two: If I am a sexual woman, I am “bad”
- Cultural Belief Three: I am not really a woman unless someone wants me sexually and/or romantically
- Cultural Belief Four: I Must Be Sexual to Be Loved
Today I will refer to one of the beliefs that is especially difficult, Cultural Belief One. I must be “good” to be worthy of love. This is an irrational cultural belief. From an early age they teach us that love is “won,” and we do this through our actions and behaviors. To be "good" we must be obedient, pleasant, submissive and complacent. They teach us to seek our identity through a couple, who will only love us if we are "good".
This belief, which is part of our irrational belief system and is unconscious, directs our behavior. It leads us to suppress important parts of ourselves, to fit in and to be loved. The discomfort generated by repressing ourselves can manifest itself with anger (directed inward or outward), depression and withdrawal. Without realizing it, we conform our way of being to the cultural expectation of being a woman, and being "good", generating an important internal conflict that affects self-esteem in a significant way.
Part of healing is identifying and disarming negative beliefs stored in your mind and body.
“Build a new belief system that helps you achieve what you set out to achieve. It is not easy to get rid of irrational beliefs, and in therapy we work to replace them with healthy beliefs ”, If you feel identified, click here to make an appointment.
Change is made from within, in our thought process, which at the same time, causes a change in behavior. That is why today it is important to do the job of AFFIRMING that I am worthy because I exist. I'm worthy of all the best, because I exist. I am able to love and worthy to receive love, as I am.
